The Chedva Beat: What are children missing today?
Shoshana: Today children are missing the right conditions required to help them reach their full human potential. While it is obvious that it would be unthinkable to remove a fetus from the womb in order to make it develop faster, the general practice today is to do so with older children. If the fetus needs a “womb” until it reaches physical viability, it is possible to say that children continue to need a “womb” in order to develop emotional and psychological viability. This “womb” is secure attachment with parents, in which the child is in the dependent position. The child must feel that his parents, in a sense, are holding on to him, offering him an unconditional invitation to exist in their presence, just as he is with no prior conditions. Parents must remain in the “mother goose” position, acting as the compass point for their children, so that the children can remain oriented to their parents in order to receive their cues and directions from their parents.This is what children are missing today, sometimes as early as pre-school, and certainly when they reach adolescence.
The Chedva Beat: To what degree does the Neufeld Paradigm influence your work?
Shoshana: I have been working with attachment in mind for the past 30 years. But when I was introduced to the Neufeld Paradigm about five years ago, it was so transforming that I left certain areas of my work so that I could master my understanding of the application of the paradigm. Today I can say that the paradigm is the foundation of my work, and I feel the urgency of bringing this insight to as many parents, teachers and anyone who works with childen as I can. It explains the challenges we face today in raising our children and offers a way through these challenges that makes sense, is intuitive and doable.